I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
