I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
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