Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Randomize
