He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Randomize
