Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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