I can't watch pbs sober anymore
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
he fucked my hip out of place.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
Randomize
