Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
Oh god it's open bar.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
