Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Randomize
