No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize