I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
