we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
