I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Randomize
