dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize
