So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
Randomize
