if i can run in heels then i can drive
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
