Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Randomize
