Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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