so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize