I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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