$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize