youre lurking in front of me
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
I have feelings that need drinking.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Randomize