And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
the liver wants what the liver wants
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize
