your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
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