i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
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