I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
