so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
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