she was so not down for the gang bang
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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