How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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