Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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