If that was your dad, he is hot
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
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