Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Randomize
