Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
Drake has all the answers
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
Randomize
