i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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