i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
Do you still have your period?
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Randomize
