You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
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