no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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