i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
