I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize