...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
i think i just lost a toe
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
Randomize