so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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