i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
soo... how was my night?
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Randomize
