There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
