if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
