I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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