but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
