carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
