I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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