We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Randomize
