Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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