batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
Those nachos came to me in a dream
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
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