what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Randomize
