What a fucking waste of an outfit
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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