roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
