Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
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