drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
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