this just has baby written all over it
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize
