Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
