so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
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