my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
