I don't think brook has ever known best
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
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