GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Randomize