like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
