im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
Randomize
