You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Randomize