went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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