the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Randomize
